“Chatter – The voice in our head and how to harness it” by  Ethan Kross 

Have you ever noticed the constant chatter going on inside your head?  You know –  the internal dialogue that you are having with yourself? You may even be aware of that dialogue right now as you read these words on this screen and repeat them in your head!In the book, Chatter – The voice in our head and how to harness it. by Ethan Kross, he examines the phenomena of our internal chatter, the effect on our conscious mind, and our ability to perform well or badly based on the dynamics of the dialogue going on inside our minds.Director of the Emotion & Self Control Laboratory and Professor at the University of Michigan, Ethan Kross sets out to examine the phenomenon and looks at strategies to help modulate our chatter and examines specific techniques to allow us to quiet the mind in a positive way to achieve our intended outcomes.He examines how some people can reason wisely under the pressure of ‘toxic stress’ whilst others may crumble and panic.

“Are there right and wrong ways to talk to yourself?”, also, can we communicate with others in a way that doesn’t raise the spectre of entrenching negative self-talk for them?  Ethan Cross – Chatter

In other words, how can we communicate in a manner which allows others to benefit from the interaction and give them a positive opportunity to further develop healthy mental ways of coping with their stress.“Kross defines introspection as “actively paying attention to one’s thoughts and feelings. The ability to do this is what allows us to imagine, remember, reflect and then use these reveries to problem-solve, innovate and create.”

However, Kross goes on to state that when we experience distress –  engaging in introspection can often do significantly more harm than good. “It undermines our performance at work, interferes with our ability to make good decisions, and negatively influences our relationships.”

He goes on “It can also promote violence and aggression, contribute to a range of mental disorders, and enhance our risks of becoming physically ill”

Hence he goes on to define chatter as, “the cyclical negative thoughts and emotions that turn our singular capacity for introspection into a curse rather than a blessing… it puts our performance, decision making, relationships, happiness and health in jeopardy”.Kross describes his mission as “why do people’s attempts to “go inside” and think when they experience distress at times succeed and at other times fail? And just as importantly, once we find our introspection abilities running off course, what can we do to steer them back on track?”With a rise in mental health issues, endemic stress, and anxiety being reported across many different age groups and peoples worldwide, the book is timely and useful in addressing internal dialogue that hinders rather than helps performance.The lockdowns of covid, the ensuing financial difficulties, combined with the increasing challenges of modern life all have the potential to increase our proclivity to question ourselves and increase negative interception.Kross comes up with a few suggestions as to what we can do to lighten up our minds and reduce negative self-talk, and details the science behind what we now know to be effective in reducing our propensity to sabotage ourselves and peak performance through negative introspection.With that in mind, Kross sets out to identify some methods of reducing and reframing negative introspection  – or useless chatter.One technique that Kross highlights is the idea of ‘distancing’  – This is a strategy to get some distance between the thoughts in one’s head and associate too strongly with the words that are being spoken. For example,  instead of saying “What is wrong with me?” changing the words to use your own name “What is wrong with you Sunny?”.This simple act of distancing allows the person to see the situation from a step removed rather than associate too much with the feelings.This technique of removing oneself from the language helps to distance oneself from the emotions associated with the problem and allows a different level of feeling and association to occur. It also allows for different answers or thoughts to come up which may provide better clarity and different emotional texture in examining the issue.Another technique identified, which is shown to be effective when experiencing suffering is, when recounting it to another person, using the ‘you’ word instead of saying “I”.This changes the association with the issue – instead of Being presently associated they might instead use “You” instead of “i” as a general word to talk about how one person might feel about it.This simple distancing technique allows the person to again get some space from the subject and talk more generally about what people may experience in this kind of situation, and how one might handle it. Rather than the person associating too strongly with what they experienced they talk in general terms about how a situation like that affects people and how they deal with it. This distancing allows a greater ability to manage the issue and not become too bogged down in negative introspection or self-pity. Knowing other people have dealt with similar experiences and survived can reduce the self-flagellation of perceiving the situation as unique to your experience.    This can be identified by examining the language a person uses when recounting a difficult situation for them.There is also an interesting section on the role of introspection in affecting health benefits from medication  – the placebo effect and how internal chatter also contributes not only to our well-being but also to our health. Thinking that a particular-looking pill is going to be effective in curing your headache can help cure it. What you say to yourself affects the efficiency of the medication taken is a fascinating area of research that the book only briefly covers.Kross provides some useful tips at the end of the book, summarizing different techniques which can help mitigate ongoing chatter. He breaks it down into three sections;  tools you can use on yourself,  tools that help work with other people, and tools that work with the environment.There are several useful tips and wisdom correlated within this easy-to-read, accessible guide to chatter. So much so that I have taken one of the techniques mentioned in the book and created another blog post about how we can leverage one technique to significantly change the chatter within us using a technique from NLP.This book is recommended to help codify and delineate what sorts of things to help construct positive chatter for ourselves and others. As such it is a valuable resource to raise awareness about what we are saying to ourselves and how effective changing our internal dialogue can be.

Why is this important to you?

Just raising awareness of the ongoing chatter we experience can help identify and release thoughts and feelings which are not serving us.As such the book can help us reorient ourselves into positively focussed individuals who are using a wider range of techniques to positively influence ourselves.In relation to Deep Rest Practises, frequently the chatter in our minds can distract and amplify ongoing tension within the body.Firstly, have an intention of relaxing the mind and consciously allowing yourself to release any issues or thoughts which have been recurring for you.  The mindfulness of recognising any repetitive thoughts or chatter and then consciously releasing it – even if only temporarily (if it’s not ok to release it permanently).Witness, acknowledge, and then release as a process of releasing intrusive thoughts.Secondly, consciously focus your attention on the face and make the face smooth. Release any wrinkles in the forehead and place your attention on the jaw.Make sure the jaw is relaxed, teeth slightly apart and mouth together. This encourages and promotes nostril breathing.Relax the tongue in the mouth – the tip can be slightly pressed against the top of the palate behind the front teeth.You can even gently massage the muscles near your ears where the jawbone attaches to the skull.  Feel there for any tension or aching which might be released through gentle touch and massage.Then go through the normal relaxation procedures described elsewhere on this site.